Barren Ground
By Tiriel
NC-17, m/m
Disclaimer: They aren't mine.
Summary: After the episode Night Falls, Cade has one gigantic realization.
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Barren Ground
By Tiriel
"Barren ground shall be sowed once more..."
There are those moments in life where you suddenly see things clearly and everything around you shifts. I have a small version of one of those moments of revelation every time I figure out the latest alien scheme. I had a really big one of those epiphanies last night. I had just left Lena, who I'd given my trust to so easily, only to have it shattered. I arrived back at the trailer, where Eddie was waiting for me.
At the first sight of him, things started to get fuzzy, the way they do just before one of those moments of revelation when it all snaps back into focus. I called out to him. He turned and saw me, then rushed over to give me a hug. We lingered for a moment before I went into the trailer and he got into the car to drive us out of town.
As we drove, I lay down, feeling the gentle motion of the trailer and the fatigue caused by my wound and a long and dangerous day. I pillowed my jacket under my head and I thought about trust. I had spoken of it earlier with Lena, the feeling of knowing that you can trust someone completely. Trust. I drifted off to sleep and didn't wake up until we'd stopped. I could smell pizza, and Eddie was gently shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me.
"Why didn't you tell me you were wounded, man? Geez, I came back here and saw all that blood on your shirt, I thought for a second--well, anyway. I've got some chow here. Let's inventory your injuries and swap horror stories. We're a safe distance away now.
I sat up, feeling a little disoriented. Eddie checked out my wound, then handed me some pizza.
I told him about the break-in, the chase, the Gua who came to kill me, the bounty hunter who let me live, and a little bit about Lena. Something in me wouldn't let me tell all of that story just yet.
Then he told me about his run-in with the bounty hunter. I was pretty sure he was downplaying the amount of danger he'd been in. I've dealt with men like that before, and I saw this one's eyes. He would have done anything short of actually killing Eddie if he thought it would get him the information he wanted. And it wouldn't have broken his heart if Eddie had died accidentally in the process. Eddie had once again been willing to die for me. It was then that it happened, that sudden snap into focus, and I knew.
"Eddie," I said, interrupting him, "I've got to tell you something. But hear me out, okay?"
"Sure, buddy. Anything you want to say, go right ahead."
I took a deep breath. "There's more to the story. Lena and I did something I hadn't done since Hannah died. I had sex with her."
"What? She tried to seduce the location of the book out of you? Some kind of reverse Stockholm thing?"
"Maybe, sort of. But mostly because I wanted to."
He looked hurt. I knew then that I was right. "Maybe you lost more blood than I thought, Foster. She was an alien collaborator!"
"I know that now. It was a mistake."
"Damn right it was! She could have doomed the entire earth to destruction!" He was getting more and more agitated, his voice louder with every word.
"No."
"What do you mean, 'no?' You were sleeping with the enemy!"
"Eddie, I'm trying to say something important here, could you shut up for a second? Those things are true, too, but that's not what I meant. She and I talked about trust, about what it's like to have absolute trust with someone. I tried to find that with Lena, and that was the mistake. I didn't understand that I already had that in my life. That kind of trust, that kind of love."
"What are you talking about, man?"
"I'm talking about you, Eddie. I trust you. I love you. And I'm sorry. She was a mistake."
He just stared at me for a minute, then said, "Are you a GenTech duplicate? Let me see that wound again. What have you done with Foster?"
I laughed. I couldn't help it. It was the first time I'd really laughed in a long time. And he was still staring at me. So I lifted my shirt. "Take off the bandages, see for yourself. I'm human. It's me."
He came over and knelt next to me. As he reached out to peel back a corner of the bandage, I saw his hand shake.
"Satisfied? A Gua would have healed by now."
"Y-yeah," he said. "So, uh, that means that you, uh--"
"Yeah, Eddie, that means that I meant what I said. So are you just going to sit there?"
"Um..." He was still kneeling there, gaping at me, his hand on my bare skin next to the bandage.
"Oh, for Chrissakes, Eddie, you look like a fish. Stand up."
He stood up, and I stood up next to him.
"You remember how you hugged me when I got back earlier?"
He swallowed hard and nodded.
"Let's try it again. The way it should have happened."
He reached out and hugged me. Just like earlier, we stayed close, looking into each other's eyes when we pulled back. I was just about to lean in and attempt a gentle kiss when he spoke.
"You're really not fucking with me here?" He blushed. "I mean--you really meant that?"
"Yes."
A smile I'd never seen quirked his lips. Then he leaned in and accomplished a kiss that was far from gentle. It took my breath away and made me as hard as a rock in the first couple of seconds, and over the next few seconds it made me wonder why I'd taken so long to see and stripped me of my ability to think of anything other than the man in my arms. My best friend, the man who'd saved my ass more times than I could count, Eddie. He seemed to have other plans for my ass than saving it just then, his hands gripping it and pulling us together, lining us up so that I could feel his erection against my own through our clothes.
I don't know how long that first kiss lasted. When we pulled back to look each other in the eye again, he said, "I love you, too, Foster." He took a step back and dropped his hands to his sides. "Now, let's get you some rest. You took a bullet today."
"You don't have to remind me," I said, although I actually had forgotten while we were kissing. "But I'd really like to do this anyway." I put a hand on his hip and pulled him close again. "I want to do what's right, now that I finally know." I slid a hand under his shirt, onto the small of his back.
"You're not making it easy to be noble, man."
"Then don't be. Something in here folds out to be big enough for both of us, right?"
"Yeah," he said. "But--"
He stopped talking as I started to pull my shirt off. He saw me wince at the pain and moved to help. He ran his hands over my chest and arms, carefully avoiding the bandages on my side. I admit it, I was trying to use my body to distract him from his objections. It worked. I leaned in for that gentle kiss I'd planned on earlier. "Eddie," I said softly when we broke apart again, "I'll understand if you don't want this because it's too fast or too soon or you're pissed at me for what I did today or for taking so damn long to figure this out. But if it's just because you're worried about me, then don't, just this once."
"Noble is overrated anyway," he said, and quickly folded out a bench into a double bed I hadn't even known about.
I started to unbutton my jeans, but he put a hand on mine to stop me.
"Let me. You're hurt." He bent his head to lick at my neck as his hands first unfastened then slid inside my jeans. I reached for the buttons of his shirt. Again he caught my hands. "I don't look anywhere near as good shirtless as you do."
"Eddie, this relationship isn't going to get very far if you won't take off your clothes."
"Don't say I didn't warn y-yow!" He yelped as I shoved him backwards onto the bed. Then I took off the rest of my clothes and lay down next to him.
"You're staring."
"Hey, man, I wasn't allowed to stare before. I want to get in all I can before you come to your senses."
I reached out and took his chin in my hand, looking him in the eye. "I am not going to change my mind about this."
"Foster--"
"I'm naked, Eddie. I think that puts us on a first-name basis. Are you convinced yet? I trust you, I love you, and I want you. It's really me, and I'm not going to change my mind. Got it?"
"All I was going to say was that I love you, Cade." I wondered if I'd discovered the reason he so seldom used my name. Had he feared giving himself away with the weight of his voice when he said it? Then he kissed me and sat up to take off his shirt.
I sat up and sucked at the back of his neck, leaving a mark. He groaned and quickly took off his pants and underwear. Then we were finally lying naked together. I pulled him close, hands exploring his skin. For one brief moment, an image of Hannah flashed through my mind, the way she looked at our wedding, happy and smiling and so beautiful. It was an image I hadn't been able to see clearly for a long time. Seeing it then felt like a blessing. I kissed Eddie.
"I want to do everything with you, Cade, but you're injured. So how about something not too strenuous. Something like this?"
He began to rock his hips against mine, rubbing our cocks together. It took a minute to find a pace and alignment that was good for us both, but once we did...
I forgot all about my wound, about the Gua, about everything except for how wonderful it was that we were together, sticky with sweat and precome, moving closer and closer to orgasm. Then I took his earlobe, the unpierced one, into my mouth, we ground together just right, and we were there. I felt his teeth on my shoulder and I heard a hoarse cry from my own throat. I fell asleep almost immediately.
The next morning, I woke up to see him looking back at me. We were lying close together, one of my legs thrown over one of his. He looked scared, like maybe he was still expecting me to change my mind. But he relaxed when I kissed him. Then I smiled at him and said, "Good morning." And for the first time in a very long while, it really was.
The End
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