Fever Dream
by Tiriel
R, m/m
Disclaimers: They aren't mine.
Tir did a bad thing. Again. I'm working on Past Life still, really, I promise. But I was in the car and a Cade paragraph that will wind up in one story or another popped into my head, so I scribbled it down at a stoplight. Then out of the blue this Joshua story that I've had an idea for for a while now (to be precise, since the ep "The Trial of Joshua Bridges" --hey, what can I say, I have a weakness for men who have unrequited feelings for Cade Foster--) started to pour out of me. So, yeah, once again I've written something completely different and finished it in the space of one day when I really should have been working on one of my WIPs. What are you gonna do about it? Stick my consciousness in a little metal golf ball? Oh, wait, that's what's been done to Joshua. This is what's going on in his head.
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Fever Dream
by Tiriel
Joshua dreamt. You weren't supposed to be aware when your consciousness was in storage, but somehow he was. And in his dream or hallucination or whatever it was, mechanical glitch, hiccup in his own brain waves, energy spike, whatever he called it, in his dream, Cade Foster, Subject 117, came to him.
At first, he came as an ally, a comrade, a brother. The kind of brother-in-arms that Joshua had once had many of among his own people. But that had changed. They had changed. Or had he? No, the Gua had become corrupt, everything he had been taught in his youth to hate. If he *had* changed, it had only been in his ability to see that.
Over time, the dream changed. Visions of rescue, of daring and clever escape plans, were replaced with conversation, companionship. Joshua had read every scrap of information the Gua had ever gathered on Subject 117, had studied him even more intensely after he'd proven such a formidable adversary. Joshua told the Cade of his dream everything. The idealism of his youth, his quick climb up the Acolyte ranks, his slow realization that his world had changed. Cade in return told Joshua what he already knew. But somehow, hearing it from Cade's mouth was different from reading it in his files. More than a brother soldier now, he became a friend.
And again the dream changed. Joshua began to feel things he hadn't felt since Lucas. Lucas, who Cade had killed. Lucas, who had changed since the days when he was Joshua's student, who had used a female human form to try to tempt Joshua. Lucas had always been one to push the limits, break the rules. Human sex was forbidden unless it furthered mission objectives. Emotional attachment among Acolytes was forbidden as well. And Joshua had tried to follow both rules.
He resisted, even in his own mind. But in time he gave in. It wasn't real. It was no more harmful than the fantasies he'd had about a reunion with Lucas once he was told that his former student was coming to Earth to evaluate the danger 117 presented. As long as it was only in his mind...
So Joshua gave in, and Cade began to come to him as a lover. Joshua had never indulged in human sex, had only imagined it, studied it, trying to understand why so many of his people were falling victim to its allure. He had only dealt with the needs of his own human form when absolutely necessary, as he'd been instructed to in briefings when he arrived on this planet. He'd loathed it even as it gave him release, hated the weakness of need and the mess of it. But with Cade, it was different. Whether it was some kind of innate knowledge acquired during his time in human form or simply his imagination, Joshua couldn't say. He knew simply that it was good. Better than good. If the real thing were half as good, he could see why so many Gua had found the pleasure hard to resist.
To begin with, things were pretty standard. Vanilla, the humans might call it, Joshua remembered from his research. As time wore on, Joshua and the dream-Cade experimented, ran the gamut of possibilities, at least all the ones Joshua had ever heard of. Positions, kinks, games. Physical stamina was not an issue here, and neither were the laws of physics if Joshua decided they didn't apply, so anything was possible. But he always came back to one variation on the theme, over and over again, falling into a familiar pattern.
Skin. Human skin was so fragile, and so sensitive. The press of his skin against Cade's, surprising softness covering firm muscle, the contrast of color making Cade's skin look golden and his look so dark that it shone with its own glow. So dark that it was like he could fall into it forever. He'd never taken as much pleasure in anything as he did in his skin, Cade's skin, tasting, touching, learning every square centimeter of it in the endless time he had available. Had it been months, or only seconds? It was impossible to say. The touch of skin on skin was all he needed sometimes. Elaborate human rituals, accessories, even simpler things like penetration, for Joshua none of them quite compared to the ecstasy of skin. So more often than not that was where it ended. Cade's naked body against his, heat, friction, sweat, and finally semen. Did the humans fully appreciate the miracle of their skin?
But that was only half of the pattern. After that, Cade would hold out his hand and say, "Come with me." And Joshua would. He still considered himself a patriot, but he had no place among his own people now. Those who thought as he did lived in hiding, keeping their opinions quiet for fear of retribution. His exposure as a "human sympathizer" prevented him from doing any further good among the Gua. He belonged with Subject 117, with Cade Foster, helping him find the "Gua," the "power to overcome," that existed within the human race.
He knew that it wasn't real, knew that it couldn't be real, but it gave him comfort. He also knew that if it had been Eddie Nambulous in his place, captured, trapped, Foster would have moved heaven and earth to get him back. But Joshua, Foster wouldn't even know that Joshua was gone, not right away. And when he did find out, he would wait, listen, and then come for him when and if the opportunity presented itself. And if Foster didn't find him first, Trent would free him, sooner or later. Alone, or by using one of the network of Gua who supported his--their--cause. In time, he would be released. And until then, he would dream.
The End
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Feedback to Tiriel welcomed.