Enough

by Alison
Rating: NC-17 (It was PG until DBKate got involved. Blame her :))
Pairing: Cooper/Albert
Summary: Angst....
Disclaimer: OK, they're adorable, but they ain't mine. They belong to David Lynch, Mark Frost, Lynch/Frost Productions and Spelling Entertanment. PLease don't sue me, I'm just having fun!!

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Another knock at Albert's hotel room door. Except this time his expectations had been correct.

He had convinced Harry easily enough. Had been able to fool the concerned Sheriff into thinking that yesterday's more gruesome events were still bothering him. It was partially true, anyway, and Harry, for the most part, had left him alone.

Not that Albert was not grateful to the man. Harry had made an offer last night, and it had been accepted. Albert had, after all, badly needed what Harry had been able to give him. Warm, *uncomplicated* human contact. Outside the sphere of his rather more involved relationship with Dale Cooper.

Albert had a secret that had been weighing on his heart for so many years that he had almost forgotten what it was like to be (mostly) free of care. Sometimes, he just had to go hang the welcome mat on his ass, simply to get some relief. He always awoke feeling disgusted with himself, but it never seemed to stop him.

"Well done, Rosenfield", he would sneer at himself, never sparing himself the practiced razor-edge of his tongue. "You didn't put up much of a fight did you. Slut".

The comment was over-harsh and unfair, and he was awake enough to himself to realise it. Albert Rosenfield may have been many things, but he was certainly nobody's fool, least of all his own.

He had awoken this morning feeling certain things far more clearly than he had in years. He had no idea why. Perhaps it was nothing more than the sheer intensity of his experiences the previous day. He had even, briefly, tried to kid himself that his liason with Twin Peaks Sheriff Harry S. Truman had been nothing more than a particularly vivid wet dream.

Except that Albert rarely slept naked unless he had company. And had that not been enough, the sudden, wincing pain in his behind as he sat up certainly had been enough to convince him. Shit.

It was difficult enough trying to conceal anything from a long-term lover, without that lover being Dale Cooper, a man who acted as if he had read the book on every person he ever met, seconds after he met them.

But Albert was good at this one. He'd had years of practice.

So what had gone wrong today? It wouldn't have had to be much- Dale's ability to read people was as keen as ever. And he and Albert had known one another, intimately, for so long..........

Albert agonised that a part of him had *wanted* to let it slip, that perhaps the strain of keeping his hurt cooped up for so many years had finally become too much. What did that say about him? How could he have been so....selfish?

Dale had not been upset about Albert and Harry. Dale had been thrilled for the pair of them. Just as Albert had known he would be. Dale had wanted he and Harry to get along, after all.

Keeping anything secret from this man had just about torn Albert's heart out. But, goddamn it, it was *his* heart, *his* heartbreak, and he'd be damned if he'd visit it on the man who loved him more than anyone else Albert had ever known.

Albert knew that he and Dale were very different. Sometime, late at night, he would be terrified that they were *too* different. That this would not work out after all.

Albert Rosenfield would live out his life in total, uncomplicated happiness as long as he had Dale Cooper. Dale Cooper. Dale Cooper. Nobody else. Ever. Dale Cooper was everyting Albert Rosenfield would ever want, or need. Dale Cooper held at least one heart in the palm of his hand, and it was Albert's. Correction; Had been Albert's.

And Albert knew he was loved. Adored, in fact, by the beautiful object of his affections. Which made all this so much more difficult. Dale, with his infallible perception, had picked up on Albert's distress today, and had come asking questions.

Keeping a secret was one thing. Lying outright to this man was quite another. He couldn't have...but this was something new. For the first time in his life, Albert actually *wanted* to lie through his teeth to this man. And he knew he didn't have a hope. He wasn't going to insult his beloved by trying.

Albert opened the door, allowing the man he loved to step through and enfold him in a deep embrace. Dale's arms slid around his slim form, and Albert leaned into the warm body, resting his head against Dale's cheek, content just for the moment to close his eyes and say nothing.

They stood that way for a very long time, doing nothing but hold and breathe. Finally, Dale broke the silence, feathering into his lover's ear, barely audible even at this close range.

"All right, Albert", he whispered...breathed. "What's wrong?"

"Don't make me do this, Dale. Please."

"Come on, darling. I can't bear to see you like this. You have to tell me".

Albert sighed, and the sound held so much dejection that Cooper nearly wept. He made a small sound as Albert broke away, went and sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard, knees tucked almost to his chest. Dale joined him, sliding up so that he sat right beside his partner, an arm around the hunched shoulders, a hand on the knee. Brushed a gentle kiss across his cheek. "Come on, darling" he whispered once more.

Albert felt his eyes stinging. The words had difficulty coming, but once they had started, it was impossible to stop. How had he ever managed to keep a secret from this man of his?

He told Dale everything. Released the huge secret that had hung, leaden, around his heart all these long years.

Dale was different to Albert. Dale *needed*...contact with women. And Albert would be damned if he was going to deny his beloved something that he himself, through some accident of biology, was physically not equipped to provide.

So, right back at the beginning, God knew how many years ago, Albert Rosenfield had told the biggest lie of his life. Albert didn't mind. Albert didn't care. They were women, he wasn't. Dale needs women, Albert doesn't. Go ahead, Albert would be waiting. Smile. Chatter about the man he had last night, for if Dale could do it, so could Albert, after all. This is a somewhat informal relationship. Did you have a good time with her? I had a blast last night, I'll be sitting delicately for a week, ha ha. How marvellous.

And he had succeeded. For years. Dale had taken and given emotionally and physically, of himself, to people who made him happy. People who were not Albert. And Albert had been happy to see Dale happy.

Except, and God this was so selfish.............

Why hadn't Albert Rosenfield been enough for Dale Cooper?

He couldn't bear to speak that last line, but he didn't have to. The pieces fell into place, all at once, and Dale Cooper was struck with horror at the realisation of what his dear one had put himself through over all these years. He could manage one word.

"Why?" He knew the answer, but it tore at his heart regardless.

"Because I love you".

Those last words were enough to tip Albert over the edge, as the tears that had been threatening all day finally fought their way to the surface. He collapsed against Dale's chest. His lover, agonised, drew him in tightly and held him there, as years of grief tore their way out of the man he loved more than anything. Dale castigated himself, furious that he had not picked up on this years earlier.

"You are supposed to be this marvellous reader of human emotions, Cooper, and you can't even spot your lover torturing himself on your own account". He wanted to....he had no idea what he wanted to do.

"I do not deserve you", he whispered into the spiky brown hair, kissing the head still cradled against his breast. Continued to hold the slight body still wracked with sobs.

After what seemed an age, Albert's breaths came more easily, but he still lay against Dale's breast, showing no sign of wanting to break the contact. Dale stroked and ruffled his hair.

"What do you want me to do, Albert?"

Albert didn't answer. Not verbally, in any case. He raised his head and pressed his mouth to Dale's, tentatively at first, then with greater urgency as Dale opened up to his touch.

"I love you".

Dale brought his fingers to Albert's shirt buttons, removing the garment as gently as if it were dressing a wound. Albert shivered as the air hit his skin, hardening his nipples into tight peaks. Dale took him by the waist and raised him, leaning against the headboard, Albert supporting himself with his hands on Dale's shoulders as he straddled his lover, resting on his lap as Dale turned his attention to the sensitive buds. Nipping gently, he coaxed tiny yelps of pleasure out of his partner, who squeezed Dale's shoulders in response to every graze of teeth against his breast.

Dale slid his hands, which had been caressing the other man's chest and belly, around and down, gripping Albert's buttocks through the thin cloth of his trousers. In response, the other man brought his lips to his, fiercely now, almost leaving bruises around Dale's mouth.

Albert could wait no longer. He slid his hands to Dale's belt buckle, fumbling almost in desparation as he tried to force his fingers to work fast enough. Dale looked at his lover with alarm. He could swear Albert was almost panicking.

"Hey, hey, slow down," he crooned. "We'll get there", he whispered against Albert's ear. All he got in response was a small, strangled sound as Albert finally succeeded with the fastenings, drawing Dale's slacks down to his knees, leaving them there while he turned his attack to his own clothing.

Dale knew the best thing he could do was probably to give help, so he undressed himself the rest of the the way and turned to his lover, fumbling with shoelaces and socks, buttons and braces and zippers, wondering in some corner of his mind why a lot of men's clothing had to be so damned complicated.

With the pair of them naked, Albert seemed to calm somewhat, to Dale's relief. He placed his hand behind Dale's head, drawing his dark-haired lover down on top of himself, spreading his legs so that Dale could lay between them. Both men gasped in pleasure as they felt their hardnesses rub together, freed from the prisons of cloth.

Albert whispered in Dale's ear, so softly he was barely heard. "I need you. I need to feel you in me. I need you inside me,"

Dale hesitated, knowing that Albert had to be sore from his encounter with Harry, not even twenty-four hours ago. Albert read his thoughts.

"I don't care if it hurts, Dale. I need this". Their eyes met. "Now," he whispered.

Dale kissed him, tears springing to his eyes. "I'll be careful, sweetheart. I promise".

Albert responded with plenty of his old vinegar. Dale was delighted to hear the man he knew bubbling to the surface. The acidity was a veneer, of course, and Dale had always been able to see past it. But it still pleased him to hear it, every day. Dale laughed, kissing once more, and reached over to the nightstand, his hand emerging with a tube of lubricant.

Albert smiled at his lover, who sat up between his legs, coaxing him with a touch to raise them, baring himself to Dale's gentle caresses. He closed his eyes, preparing himself for the slightly cool, slickly familiar sensation of the lube. He exhaled as he felt the first slickened finger tease it's way in, past the knuckle, as Dale gently stroked in and out, coaxing, relaxing the tender opening with a practiced, familiar touch.

Another finger added to the first, and Albert gasped a little now in real discomfort. He had certainly been no virgin before last night, but Harry had treated him a little more roughly and, dare he say it, carelessly, that Dale would ever have dreamt.

Dale, infallible as always, picked up on this as well. Without slowing in his movements, he gently widened his fingers, giving his lover plenty of time to adjust to the penetration.

"What was he like?" he murmured. No jealousy or anxiety. A mere desire to know.

"Rough. But marvellous. I won't forget him. I needed him last night."

Dale's eyes softened as he looked at his lover, lying back on the pillows, eyes shut. All of a sudden he felt his love rise up inside, a wave that almost threatened to drown. What was he supposed to do?

Albert opened his eyes. "Don't blame yourself. I kept it secret. It was my choice".

Some of Dale's doubt must have registered in his eyes, because Albert simply said, "Your'e no dullard, Coop. Stop acting like one. Now keep going."

Albert all over, Cooper thought with a snall smile. Who else could have responded with such alacrity while being, pardon the expression, fucked with two fingers, with a third on the way?

Dale applied a third finger to the preparations, listening to Albert's moans of pleasure and pain. "Enough, Dale, please! Now!"

How could he argue with that? Dale removed his digits from the warm, slick wetness of his partner, coating himself liberally with the remainder of the lube. He moved into position above his beloved, guiding himself to the opening with one hand, while stroking Albert's hip with the other.

He entered his willing lover with one long, slow stroke, as Albert hissed as he was pierced for the second time in as many nights. The sudden pain caused the slim, brown-haired man to clench involuntarily upon the large hardness he felt penetrating him, even as he revelled in the fullness he was feeling.

Dale paused, supporting his weight on his arms as he lay unmoving, allowing Albert time to adjust to the largeness of him. Albert bit lightly on his shoulder as he fought the urge to cry out in pain and pleasure...he didn't want Dale worrying about him, and besides, he was certainly no virgin.

Albert thrust up into Dale's hips, trying to impale himself further upon his lover's sex, crying out in earnest this time. Dale responded, revelling in the feeling of being buried to the hilt, his partner's legs wrapped tightly around him in an effort to draw him even deeper inside.

They rode each other, screaming, biting, thrusting, as Albert implored his lover to go faster, deeper, harder, pounding his way into him, forcing him back against the headboard, Albert's teeth buried in the beautiful pale shoulder, fingers embedded n his back. When they cried out it was in unison, as Albert's climax caused him to squeeze down on Dale's sex, as he felt Dale shudder above him, seed shooting deep inside him, even as his own bathed their bodies, mingling with the rivulets of sweat.

Dale collapsed on top of Albert, moaning as the last of his essence was taken into the body of his lover. They were both sobbing with exhaustion, both emotional and physical, as they sagged against one another, too spent to think.

Finally Dale collected himself enough to slide off his lover, gathering him towards himself as they drifeted into a sleep too deep for dreaming, aware only of the hold they had on each other, the tangle of emotions too deep to map, too complex to sound, too painful to contemplate, too blissful to ignore.

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End.

If you know whats good for you, you'll feed me :)

Alison

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