Beard Burn

by Tiriel

NC-17, m/m
Truman/Rosenfield

Third and final in the series that began with "Reptile." This one begins three days after the end of my story "Walk Away" -if you haven't read that one or "Reptile," go do it now. These are NOT set in my Fall Universe. Albert left for a reason. Harry is about to find out what that was.

Disclaimer: The characters of this story don't belong to me...they came from the twisted minds of David Lynch and Mark Frost (and I mean that respectfully)-I'll put them back when I'm done. Please don't sue me, all I have are student loans.

Warnings: Angst, angst, angst. AlbertAngst, TrumanTorture, and CooperCruelty-if you count the fact that I've had him basically a vegetable for two full stories now.

The really nice thing about fic is that, unlike life, we get to write our own scripts. Here's how this one ends. Thanks to the usual suspects. Do I give in to my usual tendency to write happy endings? Read it and find out.

-------------------------

Beard Burn
by Tiriel

"SHERIFF TRUMAN! GORDON COLE HERE, CALLING FROM VANCOUVER, WASHINGTON! THAT'S WASHINGTON, NOT CANADA! BIG DIFFERENCE!"

"Hello, Gordon!"

"SHERIFF TRUMAN, IS THAT YOU?"

"Yes!"

"OKAY. I WAS CALLING TO SEE IF YOU KNOW WHERE ALBERT IS. HE LEFT DC FOUR DAYS AGO AND DIDN'T TELL ANYONE WHERE HE WAS GOING. I THOUGHT HE MIGHT HAVE GONE TO TWIN PEAKS TO VISIT COOP."

"He did, but he left the next day!"

"WELL, WHEN THE SHERIFF GETS IN, COULD YOU TELL HIM THAT GORDON COLE IS ON HIS WAY THERE? THANK YOU!"

"Sure thing. Goodbye, Gordon!"

"GOODBYE!"

Harry hung up the phone. It had been three days since Albert had left Coop's hospital room. Harry had assumed at the time that he was leaving town, going back to DC or Philadelphia. But if Gordon didn't know where Albert was, then obviously he hadn't. So where was he? Harry put on his coat and hat and went to see Coop. Maybe he'd get some ideas while he was there.

Albert had come to Twin Peaks after Harry had yelled at him for his apparent lack of concern for Coop's condition. Somehow, the tension between Harry and Albert had turned into passion, and they'd wound up in bed together. Albert had left the next morning, after visiting Coop. Harry was still trying to sort it all out, but there were more urgent things to worry about right now.

Major Briggs, Sarah Palmer, and the Log Lady had a plan for getting Bob out of Coop, but they said that they needed Philip Gerard, the one-armed man, to make it work. They also said that there was some kind of time limit--something about the planets. So they'd made announcements in the newspaper, distributed flyers, and spread the word in every way they could think of, but so far there'd been no sign of Gerard.

Annie was sitting with Coop when Harry arrived.

"Hi, Annie."

"Hello, Harry. How are you today?"

"Fine, thanks. Listen, you haven't seen Agent Rosenfield lately, have you?"

"Albert? Just that one time the other day, that's all. He was very rude. I see what Dale meant about his social skills."

"He's not that bad, not once you get to know him. He's a good man, and a fine agent."

"That's what Dale said, too, and a man who knows his Shakespeare can't be all bad. But no, I haven't seen him since then. Why?"

"He seems to be missing."

"Oh, dear. Well, I hope he's all right."

"So do I, Annie. So do I. Um, I think I'm going to go for a drive, look around a bit for Gerard. If Gordon Cole shows up here, could you ask him to meet me at the station later today?"

"Of course, Harry."

As Harry stepped into the hallway, he half-expected to hear Albert, saying something like, "So what did the Harvest Queen have to say? And shouldn't she be off doing the ribbon-cutting on a new Wal-Mart or something?" But of course, Albert wasn't there.

Harry drove out into the woods and sat in the truck, thinking. It was all so strange. It had started with a phone call from Pete, reporting his discovery of Laura's body. And somehow that was the beginning of a chain of events that had led here. Coop possessed and drugged up in the hospital. The town's population reduced by several deaths, both natural and unnatural. And then there was Harry's personal life. Hank back in prison, Josie dead, and this thing with Albert, whatever it was. He'd spent much of his time over the last three days pondering that night with Albert, and had made very little progress as to a conclusion. Between that and his concern for Coop, he hadn't been sleeping well and had been dozing off in odd places.

"Sheriff Truman? Sheriff Truman, are you there?"

Harry jolted awake. He'd dozed off right there in his cruiser. He picked up the radio. "Holy smoke, Lucy, you don't have to shout."

"Well, yes, actually, I do have to shout, Sheriff Truman, because Gordon Cole is here and you know he's hard of hearing."

"He is, Lucy. I'm not. I'm on my way. Is there anything else?"

"Well, no, Sheriff Truman. That's all. Except for Jade and Emerald--"

"Lucy." Harry's tone was warning.

"Oh, right. Sorry. I'll let him know that you're on your way so that he knows that you're on your way."

When Harry entered the station, he could hear Gordon's voice booming out of Lucy's work area. They were watching "Invitation to Love."

"THAT LITTLE LADY IS BETRAYING HER SISTER *AND* HER FELLA! BOY, OH, BOY, SOME PEOPLE. SHERIFF TRUMAN, GOOD TO SEE YOU!"

"Gordon. Let's go into my office and talk."

"SHERIFF, WHY DON'T WE GO INTO YOUR OFFICE TO TALK?"

"Great idea, Gordon! And I've told you before, you can call me Harry!"

"ALL RIGHT, HARRY. ANY LUCK FINDING THE ONE-ARMER?"

"Nope." Harry shook his head, suddenly wishing he'd called Shelly Johnson in to repeat what he said for Gordon. It would have been easier than shouting.

"SO, WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ALBERT?"

Harry blushed, then realized that Gordon was referring to Albert's disappearance.

"CHET VANISHED, COOP'S POSSESSED, AND NOW ALBERT'S GONE, TOO. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON PHILLIP JEFFRIES. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, HARRY, BUT I ALWAYS SEEM TO WIND UP WITH THE ODD ONES. YOU SAY HE CAME HERE BUT THEN LEFT?"

"That's right." Harry nodded.

"DID COOP EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE FIRST CASE HE AND ALBERT WORKED TOGETHER?"

"No, he didn't." Harry shook his head. Yes and no answers were safe, at least.

"WELL, IT WAS A RASH OF BIZARRE DEATHS IN A SMALL TOWN IN THE ROCKIES. LET ME SEE IF I CAN REMEMBER ALL OF THEM. A WOMAN FROM EUROPE DIED IN SOME SORT OF PHOTOCOPIER MISHAP--SHE WAS TRYING TO RESCUE SOME ORIGINAL DOCUMENTS FROM THE MACHINE AND SHE WOUND UP STAPLED AND COLLATED TO DEATH. HER BROTHER HAD AN ANEURYSM--APPARENTLY HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO USE A COMPUTER PROGRAM, DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE AROUND TO DELEGATE THE WORK TO, AND WAS TOO EMBARRASSED TO ASK FOR HELP. THEN THERE WERE THREE MORE THAT WERE COMPUTER-RELATED. A YOUNG WOMAN GOT HER HAND STUCK IN A DISK DRIVE AND DIED OF THIRST BEFORE SHE WAS FOUND. ANOTHER WOMAN ACCIDENTALLY STRANGLED HERSELF WITH THE CORD TO HER MOUSE. AND A MAN IN THAT SAME OFFICE WAS ELECTROCUTED WHEN HIS CAPS LOCK KEY SHORTED OUT. THERE WERE A FEW MORE. ONE WOMAN OVERDOSED ON STYLING PRODUCTS--DIED FROM THE FUMES. THREE OF THEM WERE VACATIONERS. A GUY FROM TEXAS LOST HIS TEMPER AT A VENDING MACHINE, TIPPED IT OVER, AND WAS CRUSHED BY IT. A GUY FROM NEW YORK FELL DOWN AN OPEN ELEVATOR SHAFT. AND A MAN FROM RIGHT HERE IN WASHINGTON STATE GOT HIT BY A TRAIN WHILE RUNNING FROM SOME PEOPLE WHO WANTED TO RUB HIS BELLY FOR LUCK. OH, AND THE STRANGEST ONE OF ALL--A GUY WHO WAS SOME SORT OF CONTORTIONIST--GOT HIS HEAD STUCK UP HIS OWN ASS AND SUFFOCATED. STRANGEST THING. COOP WAS CONVINCED THAT IT WAS ALL SOMEHOW RELATED TO ONE YOUNG WOMAN--A WRITER--BUT ALBERT PROVED THAT THEY WERE ALL JUST FREAK ACCIDENTS. SO WHERE IS ALBERT, ANYWAY?"

"Well, he came to visit Coop, and--hey, you know what? I just remembered something. He was driving a rental car. I bet we can check with the company and see if he's turned it in. Wonder why he wasn't driving a Bureau car?" Harry picked up the phone.

"That would be because I was here on personal, rather than Bureau, business." Albert stepped into the room, pushing the one-armed man in front of him.

"THERE'S THE ONE-ARMER NOW!"

XXX

It had taken Albert three days to track down Philip Gerard, the one-armed man. He didn't usually do field work, but he had been trained in it once upon a time, he'd spent a lot of time with Coop, and this matter was personal. So over the course of three days, he'd committed breaking and entering, seriously bent his vow of pacifism, and staked out a mailbox. He certainly wasn't going to give Gordon, his superior, any details. Harry, on the other hand, he might tell later. And if Coop asked, if the harebrained plan to save him, whatever it was, actually worked and Coop was *able* to ask, then Albert wasn't going to refuse him anything.

Harry called in Hawk. "Hold him in an interrogation room. Don't let him have any of his medication and don't let him out of your sight." Hawk nodded and took Gerard away.

"ALBERT, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" Gordon was, as always, speaking at a decibel level decidedly unsafe for the human ear.

"That's not important, Gordon. The important thing is that now we can help Coop, and now I can get a shower and a change of clothes."

Harry pressed the button on the intercom. "Lucy, call Mrs. Palmer, Major Briggs, and the Log Lady. Tell them we've got Gerard."

"Yes, Sheriff Truman." The rest of her inane response was drowned out by Gordon's voice.

"ALBERT, YOU ARE A BIT RIPE AND YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT IN DAYS. I RECOMMEND A SHOWER, A NAP, AND A CHANGE OF CLOTHES. NOW EXCUSE ME FOR RUSHING OFF, BUT NOW THAT I KNOW YOU'RE OKAY, I THINK I'LL STOP AT THE DOUBLE R AND THEN HEAD BACK SOUTH. I HAVE A SITUATION THERE THAT I SHOULD GET BACK TO."

"Thank you, Gordon!" Harry shouted.

Gordon nodded and walked out the door.

XXX

Albert was dirty and disheveled but looked quite pleased with himself. Harry was sure he'd seen a brief smile quirk his lips when he mentioned helping Coop. One of Harry's questions was answered already, simply by Albert's presence in the room. He was still attracted to him. "Albert," he began, then paused, not certain what he was going to say.

"Harry, we need to talk." Albert looked down. "But not right now. Right now I need a shower and a change, and I don't think either of us will be ready for that conversation until we know Coop's all right."

"You're probably right." Harry smiled, hoping he wasn't about to make a mistake and fall victim to Albert's sarcasm once again. "You still don't have a room at the Great Northern. If you want, you can shower at my place so you don't have to hassle with checking in right away. While we're there, maybe you can tell me where you've been and how the hell you found the man I've had half the town looking for for days now."

"That makes sense," Albert said. "But you're driving. I'm too tired to navigate around the tractor-driving yokels that populate your local roadways."

"Albert, you've got yourself a deal."

Albert fell asleep on the way, and Harry took a moment to look at him before waking him up. Usually crisp and clean in his standard Bureau suit and tie, Albert now reeked of cigarette smoke and had a spot on his shirt and three days' growth of beard. Harry felt a sudden warmth. Albert had been running himself ragged working to save Coop.

"Albert? Albert, wake up."

"I wasn't sleeping," Albert muttered, stretching a little.

"Right. We're there."

"Good." Albert's stomach growled.

"How long has it been since you've eaten?"

"Not that long," Albert said, but somehow Harry didn't believe him.

"Right. Come on. I'll fix some food while you shower."

Allbert didn't argue with the suggestion. They went inside. Harry headed for the kitchen and Albert went into the bathroom. Fantasies of joining him in the shower filled Harry's mind as he stared into his refrigerator, looking for something to cook.

"He's exhausted. Leave it alone." The phone rang and he hurried to catch it. "Hello?"

"Sheriff Truman, this is Lucy."

"Yes, Lucy, what is it?"

"Sheriff Truman, I'm at the station. But everybody else has gone. Except for Andy. My punky."

"Where have they gone, Lucy?"

"Into the woods. Mr. Gerard and Hawk and the Log Lady and Major Briggs and Mrs. Palmer. And they were going to get Agent Cooper from the hospital and take him with them, and Annie Blackburn, too, if she was there."

"Lucy, when did they leave?"

"I'm really not sure, because I forgot to put on my watch today. And then I got distracted watering the plants and forgot to call until now. Being pregnant sure has made me forgetful."

"Lucy. Did they want us to meet them?"

"I'm not sure. Oh, wait. The Major said, 'Call Harry and tell him that we'll call him when it's done.' I wrote it down, I just forgot. They didn't even want to take Hawk, but he insisted. He said, 'Harry told me not to let Gerard out of my sight.' I wrote that down, too."

"Thank you, Lucy. Goodbye."

"Bye."

Harry hung up the phone. "Albert, I've got news." He couldn't hear a response. "He probably can't hear me over the shower. And when did I get into this habit of talking to myself?" He walked to the bathroom door. "Hey, Albert," he called loudly.

Albert's response was unintelligible through the door and over the noise of the shower. Harry opened the door just a crack and said, "Sorry, couldn't hear you. I have some news."

"What is it? Is it Dale?"

"Yeah. Whatever it is that they're doing, it's happening now. They said they'll call when it's over."

"They don't need us there to chant or throw rocks or something?"

"Guess not. I'll, uh, get started cooking then."

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"How well does your hot water heater work?"

"Usually works great, plenty of water. Is there a problem?"

"Yes, there is. You may not care much about environmentalism out here in Nowheresville, but I am a friend of the earth. This shower is far too big for just one person. If you have any concern at all for water conservation, you'll join me."

"But what about the food?"

"You don't have anything on the stove yet, do you? No burners or gas left on? Wouldn't want the place to burn down around our ears."

"No," Harry said, and he stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.

"If we have nothing to do other than wait, at least we can spend the time pleasantly."

XXX

*This damn town has stripped me of what little was left of my wits,* Albert thought. He looked around the edge of the shower curtain. Harry was standing there, unbuttoning his shirt. "Hurry up, before I come to my senses," he said, and pulled the shower curtain all the way back.

Harry's eyes widened a little at the sight of Albert, naked, wet, and erect. He hurriedly stripped off the rest of his clothes and stepped into the shower. Albert turned to face him.

"So where have you been? I thought you'd left town." Harry moved closer and ran his hands down Albert's sides to his waist.

Albert leaned forward for a kiss, biting down a little on Harry's bottom lip when their erections bumped together. "You want the whole story or the Reader's Digest version?"

"You need a shave," Harry said, rubbing his cheek against Albert's. He nipped at Albert's shoulder. "Either. Both. I like to listen to you talk." He bent down and licked at Albert's chest.

*Not that I'd notice if the place burned down around our ears,* Albert thought. "Well, I woke up and I knew two things. One, that I needed to visit Coop again. Two, that I needed some time to think."

Harry placed one of his legs between Albert's and sucked at his collarbone. Albert could feel a mark forming under Harry's mouth. He moaned softly.

"This honesty thing is getting to be a habit, Harry. But somehow I find that I don't want to lie to you. So I left your place without telling you anything, went to the hospital, and confessed to Coop about you and I. I know he probably couldn't hear me, but it helped me to figure something else out, that you and I wouldn't be able to settle this," he gestured to their naked, entangled bodies, "until he was okay. And we will still have to have that talk later, you know. But anyway, I still didn't feel ready to see you, and I remembered you saying that you'd been trying to track down Captain Hook, so I went looking for him."

Harry knelt, and Albert watched the water stream through his dark, curly hair as he moved closer and touched his tongue tentatively to the tip of Albert's cock. Albert leaned back into the wall and gripped Harry's shoulders as he licked along the length of his erection.

"Before I continue, I have one question. You wouldn't be inclined to arrest me for any smallish crimes I might have committed in your jurisdiction, would you?"

Harry looked up and placed his hands on Albert's hips. "What do you think? Of course not." He took the head of Albert's cock into his mouth.

"Just checking. Although we can discuss the possibilities of handcuffs later. So the first thing I did was break into Coop's hotel room. I borrowed his case notes, scanned them for any mention of Gerard." Albert heard his voice quiver a little. Harry was continuing an oral exploration of his cock. "Somewhere inbetween descriptions of some really wacko dreams and excruciatingly bad love poetry about Annie, I found what I needed. I placed a call to the hospital and found out that Bob Lydecker had been released a few days before."

Harry looked up at that. Albert gripped his shoulders and pulled him up into an embrace.

"I know, I know, you'd already talked to him. But you didn't threaten him at gunpoint." Harry pulled back in surprise. "So I bent my vow of pacifism a little. I wouldn't really have shot him, but he didn't know that." Albert slid his hands down Harry's back, pulling him closer. Chest to chest, groin to groin, he chuckled softly, dryly, into Harry's ear. "The way my hand shook, holding Coop's gun, which I'd also borrowed, he must have thought I was crazy enough to do it. So he told me about this mailbox rental place a couple of towns over, one of those 24-hour deals, where Gerard picks up his shipments of shoes once or twice a week. I drove out to Mayberry, or wherever the hell it was, and sat there on stakeout until he showed up. That's all there is to tell."

Harry kissed him then, one of those deep, intense kisses that Albert had been thinking about for three days. He lost track of time, fully absorbed into the sensations of Harry's lips against his, their hands roaming each others' bodies, water streaming over their warm, wet skin. It wasn't until the water started to cool that he suddenly snapped back to awareness. "Harry."

"I know. Come on." Harry stepped out of the shower and turned off the water. "Guess we outlasted the hot water heater after all."

"Apparently." They stood for a moment, looking at each other.

XXX

Harry grabbed two towels off of the rack and handed one to Albert. Suddenly feeling awkward, he said, "Do you want that food now, or..."

"No. We are going to bed. You are going to fuck me through the mattress. Then I am going to sleep for about a week. When I wake up, I'll eat whatever cholesterol-laden monstrosity you dish up for breakfast. Any questions?"

"Nope." Harry smiled and stepped close to Albert, wrapping his arms around him. "You've spent the last three days working to save my best friend. You can have anything you want. I'm happy to oblige." He felt a sudden burst of joy and his smile widened. There was the answer to another one of his questions. Three days of agonizing over them and they seemed to be falling so simply into place now, one at a time. Coop was his best friend. That was the description that had come out of his mouth without forethought or hesitation, and it held the comfortable rightness of truth. He didn't want Coop, hadn't wanted him. It was just Albert.

"Harry? You're shaking." There was a little bit of the old hardness in Albert's voice.

*I shouldn't have reminded him of Coop,* Harry thought.

"What is it, Harry?"

"I'll tell you later. Right now, I have a request to fill. Bed, then sex, then sleep, then food."

"You are a quick learner."

"I have to be, to keep up with the FBI." Harry grinned.

"Bed."

"You got it."

XXX

So they moved from the bathroom to the bedroom, their towels left behind somewhere inbetween. *He wants Coop, I knew it,* Albert thought. *I get this figured out and it doesn't seem to matter. But at least I can get one more good distraction out of this. And I really can't blame him.*

"Talk to me, Albert. Tell me what you're thinking."

"In a minute. First, let's pick up where we left off in the shower." He walked to his overnight bag, took out a tube of lubricant and a condom, and handed them to Harry. "Let's see just how quick a learner you are." He lay down on the bed.

"So," Harry said a few moments later, his slick finger teasing Albert's anus, "talk to me."

Albert sighed and looked away. "I thought we were going to have this talk later, but oh, well. I was thinking that this will be the last time."

"What?" Harry pulled his hand back abruptly. "What do you mean?"

Albert sat up and looked away, his erection fading. "You want Coop, not me."

"Is that still what you think?" Harry put his hand on Albert's shoulder, turning him so they were face to face again. "I mean, I've gotta admit, I thought about it, after the other night. This is all so new. I needed to figure it out and I did. I love him, but not in that way, and I don't want him. I just want you. You'd still rather be with him, though."

"When, if, he wakes up, he'll be with Annie. That much is clear. What he and I had is over, was ending before she came into the picture, to tell the truth."

"So where does that leave us?"

"I don't know. I'm enjoying this, Harry. Honesty is addictive, and you make me feel things. I spend so much time feeling nothing other than irritation. I like the things you make me feel. And the sex isn't bad, either." Albert smiled to make sure Harry got the joke. "I'd like to keep seeing you. That sounds pathetically old-fashioned. Must be the backwoods rubbing off on me." He paused and took a deep breath. "So, what do you think?"

"I'd like that, too."

"Good." Albert reached a hand down into Harry's lap, stroking his cock back to hardness. "Now that we've settled that..."

"Impatient. You city folks are always in such a hurry."

"Shall I spell it for you? F-u-c-k m-e n-o-w." Albert found himself pushed backward onto the bed, Harry's mouth covering his, Harry's hand on his rapidly returning erection. Just then, the phone rang.

Harry groaned.

"Don't get it."

"I really should. It might be an emergency."

"I've got an emergency right here that needs your attention."

"But--"

"I also still have Coop's gun somewhere around here. Hang on." Albert walked to both of the telephones and unplugged them. "Whatever that halfwit Lucy has to say can wait." He came back over to the bed. "Now fuck me already." He pushed Harry back and straddled him. "All that time I sat there looking at that damn mailbox rental place, I was thinking about this." He retrieved the condom packet, opened it, and slowly rolled the condom onto Harry's straining cock. "Please, Harry."

In a sudden movement more graceful than Albert would have expected, Harry rolled, turning him onto his back. He pinned Albert's arms down and kissed him hard on the mouth. A quick, cursory probe with slick fingers, then Albert felt Harry's cock pressing into him, entering him in one long, slow, delirious push. His eyes closed and his back arched. "Oh, yes, please, Harry. Please." Apparently, begging was going to be a habit, too.

Harry drove into him hard and fast, like a teenager desperate for release, and it was exactly what Albert wanted at that moment. "Yes" and "Harry" and "more" were the only words he could remember, and then, finally, it was like the three days of exhaustion and the weeks of emotional turmoil and the days of confusion all hit him at once and passed right through, leaving nothing behind but a starburst of pleasure and then boneless relaxation. Albert slipped into sleep before he was even sure whether or not Harry had come, too.

XXX

Harry smiled. Albert had practially fallen asleep before he'd even finished coming. He got a washcloth and gently wiped them both down. One sticky morning had been enough. Then he curled up next to Albert and went to sleep.

He awoke to the sound of a firm knock on the front door. Harry left Albert sleeping and walked to the door, pulling on pants and a t-shirt as he went. He remembered the unplugged phones, hurried the last few steps, and opened the door.

Dale was on the doorstep, looking the same as he had the day Harry had first met him. Black suit, slicked-down hair, and a smile. "Coop! You're okay!" Harry reached out and squeezed Coop in a bear hug. He looked out into the driveway. Annie was in the passenger seat of the car, also smiling.

"Yes, Harry, I am okay. It's good to be back. We tried to call, but there was no answer. And apparently Albert needs a shave."

"Um. Uh. Well..."

"Harry," Dale said, one of his widest, brightest, warmest smiles spreading across his face as he clapped Harry on the shoulder. "You've got beard burn."

"Yes," Harry said, feeling an equally wide, bright, and warm smile spread across his own face, "yes I do."

The End

-------------------------

Note from the author:
Any resemblance between the people who died in that town in the Rockies in the story Gordon told and actual persons, living or dead, particularly the bosses, coworkers, exes, or almost-exes of myself or any of my friends, is definitely not a coincidence. It's just fic, I have an alibi for the night in question, and they needed killin'. And that's all I have to say about that.

I'm hungry. Gimme feedback.

Tiriel

Back to the Bookhouse Boys archive